A hesitant step into the world of foam packing chips
First Issue 26/08/2001
Introduction
We've all seen them, blowing around factory car parks, landfill sites or almost any residential street on bucket day - foam [1] packing chips these days are pretty much everywhere [2], but have you ever given them much consideration? I have, and here I will attempt to lay out some of my thoughts, feelings and questions on the subject with none or more photographs to relieve the monotony. You may need some patience, since this web page is written with a high footnote ratio - but not normal footnotes - because I've stuck them at the bottom of the first or only section that refers to them rather than dumping them all at the bottom of the page. I hope you find the subject as intersting as I do ;-)
[1] I use the word 'foam' intentionally, because polystyrene is only one of the possible materials used
[2] and the majority of them will remain everywhere for a very long time since they don't break down quickly / easily in the natural environment, with the exception of the soluble / biodegradeable versions [3]
[3] in the intrests of research, Blank Frank has tried eating one of the starch-based models, and found it to be considerably less tasty than a piece of popcorn without salt, sugar or toffee coating - it didn't perceptibly poison him [4], but in the food stakes, in his opinion, it fell considerably short of a good curry
[4] usual disclaimer applies - NEVER ATTEMPT TO EAT ANYTHING UNLESS YOU HAVE PERSONALLY VERIFIED THAT IT IS ENTIRELY SAFE [5]. IF FACT, TO MAXIMISE YOUR SURVIVAL CHANCES IN GENERAL, TRUST NOBODY AND NOTHING EVER, AT ALL. FULL STOP.
[5] this could cause some distress at dinner parties and in eateries, but it's better to be safe than sorry - who needs friends anyway?
Blank Frank's Foam Chip Collection so far (after about 10 minutes of hunting)
Here you can see the collection of 25 distinct species of foam chip, acquired over several minutes of searching. It is by no means exhaustive - I can think of several previously-seen types that I completely failed to find when carrying out field research for this page - but you might be surprised at the variety in general circulation. Whilst there are undoubtedly some critical properties considered when specifying some of these (such as density, eco-friendliness, antistatic, etc), the majority seem to be largely interchangeable - indeed, several types were found to coexist happily in the same pile. Several questions (but few answers) spring to mind when considering the richness of this chip array. If you know the answers, please don't tell me, because I'm enjoying the idle speculation too much.
Some Questions
Do the different models of chip have names like, for example, The Dominator, The Corinthian, Bad Boy and The Mean Machine, or are they just alphanumeric codes, like X119, 9995 and PDP-11?
Do people set out to have a career in packing chip design, or does it just sort of happen to them by accident?
When transporting chips from their place of manufacture, does one rely on their self-packing characteristics, or pack them in other chips[6] to avoid damage in transit?
When deciding to purchase chips, does someone in the purchasing department say something like "Oh, I much prefer the H-shaped green ones - they go with my eyes", or do they just say "These ones are cheapest, lets buy lots"?
Will the time ever arrive when there are actually enough different designs of packing chip, or will there be a perpetual desire to have "this Year's model"?
[6] I think I know the answer to this one, but it makes a nice change from the old "How does the man who drives the snowplough get to work in the morning?" conundrum.
Conclusion
My only conclusion at this time is that I've barely scratched the surface of the exciting world of foam packing chips, but if I've somehow managed to arouse your interest and inspire you to give the subject some thought, then I will consider my efforts to have been worthwhile. Thank you for your attention.
Copyright? Possibly .....